Visualization and Healing Trauma

Visualization and Healing Trauma

Suffering from PTSD mostly sucks. Almost 100% of it is pure hell.

There is exactly one thing that I have gained: the ability to fully enter my visualizations. Now let me throw out a whole bunch of disclaimers. 1) Not a doctor. 2) Not a therapist. 3) You should have a doctor and a therapist if you have or think you have PTSD, even more so if you want to attempt any type of psychic work.  4) If you suffer from PTSD don’t even attempt active visualization without talking to your doc.

Now that that’s out of the way.

I have had PTSD for a decade. I was only diagnosed with it two years ago. For eight years I suffered reliving things I’d rather forget–in vivid detail and with all of my senses. I had no control over it and no idea why it was happening. The sensations were so vivid that it was like time travel.

After my diagnosis and as part of treatment, I started doing calm-abiding meditation. It was a practice that I had developed and lost over the preceding several years like many things in the fog of depression, anxiety and bone-crunching panic. I was a bit rusty but soon found my footing. An unwelcome thought would rise up and I would swat it away like a Ninja. That’s what it felt like- a mental martial art that helped me fight an enemy that could hijack my thoughts. I can’t always beat the thoughts but more often than not, I have taken control back.

I have noticed that with this mental Ninjitsu, I can fearlessly enter the visualizations that are part of my esoteric practice. If I wanted to “be on a beach” I can do so vividly, with all of my senses. If something tries to overtake my plan, I can swat it away like a fly. Take that unpleasant vision! All the while, I can remain standing on the beach with my toes in the sand, feeling the crunchy wet and smelling the salt water and seaweed.

The thing is, I could never so thoroughly enter a vision before I started treating my PTSD symptoms and taking control over my inner eye. I definitely do not think that PTSD and its accompanying trauma are an equal trade for a more fulfilling inner plane but silver linings is good to find.

Veronika

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